Monday, October 15, 2012

the homebirth of hazel sevine, part 2

transfer is not an easy thing to talk about for a few reasons.
transfers give homebirth skeptics ammunition.
and sadly, transfer makes people think that your homebirth failed.
i could not disagree more which is why i broke this story into 2 parts.
our homebirth was beautiful. our baby was born perfectly healthy.

homebirth is not about rejecting medical attention. it's about seeking it when it's necessary.
i often think of midwives being wise as serpents and gentle as doves like in matthew
they are laid back and calm because they are confident everything will go as it should, but they are alert and sensitive to red flags if and when they start to pop up.

after the birth we all moved to the bed to take care of the placenta and then hopefully settle in.
my placenta detached and came quickly and i thought we were home free.
but then i was just so SO tired i could barely focus on this sweet baby girl in my arms.
every muscle ached and quivered and i just wanted to go to sleep.
i remember thinking, "where is my cocktail of love hormones michel odent?!?!?! WHERE??" hahaha
(michel odent is a well known natural birth advocate who talks about the rush of love hormones and adrenalin a mother gets directly after birth to bond with her baby)
looking back i think that's when i first knew something was off.

to spare you all the lovely details, i was having a bit of a postpartum hemorrhage. 
my labor was long and my uterus was done.
and i'm a tiny one so my body was not handling the extra blood loss well.
the midwives took all the right measures, but none of it was working and it was time to call in the cavalry.
this is when ryan started to freak :) he was kind of blindsided by all of it. the midwives had been so calm and he thought everything was hunky dory. they explained to him that everything was okay, but i needed IV fluids to get my system back to where it needed to be.

when the ambulance pulled into the driveway with its crazy siren and flashing lights my peaceful ambiance was shattered.

little did we know (this is so SO sad you guys) my mother had been picked up from the airport by my cousin 45 minutes earlier and was driving into town RIGHT BEHIND the ambulance. the last update she had gotten was that i was in labor. but it was soon evident that the ambulance was headed the same place they were, and they pulled into the driveway together. 
my poor mother was beside herself.

my rockstar husband pulled himself together, met my mother outside and calmly told her that everything was fine and that i just needed IV fluids.

after that things started moving so fast.
i remember feeling like the house was full of people and being so annoyed that they were crashing my sacred moments after birth.

ryan stayed home with hazel and my mom and midwife came with me to the hospital.
i joked with the EMS guys on the way. they were super nice. 
i said, i take it you're not a fan of homebirth?
he said no but to each his own. 
i proceeded to over share about how healthy my baby was and how perfect a heart rate she maintained throughout labor and delivery :)

everyone was very nice and cordial and a few hours later i was back home with my baby and husband.

labor was no harder nor easier than i expected it to be.
i never reached the point when i thought i couldn't do it.
i reached many points when i didn't want to do it.
to stay engaged was a constant choice.
the funny thing about self sacrifice - you might start the journey seeking to prove how strong and awesome you can be, but in the end you are broken, fully aware of your weakness. in the best way.
my pride was crushed and i was just thankful.

and that my friends is the story of our baby's birth :)
God put a little soul in my womb and then built flesh around it and then i pushed her out into the world, and it was just the most miraculous thing.


  1. LOVE your birth story! Sounds sooooo much like BOTH of my deliveries. I had hospital births with the goal of natural births. My doctor (same both times) allowed me to go natural and was completely and totally confident in me (shocker!) The NURSES on the other hand, boy, let me tell you. None of them were okay with what I was doing and they made it extremely clear. Danny and I both said if it wasn't for our wonderful doctor, we would have never gone back to the same hospital for my second birth. With Sitora I hemorrhaged afterwards and received IV fluids like you. With Peter I was stuck at 5 centimeters for too long (in their opinion) and was given Pitocin (without an epidural to help) and labored for 2 horrible hours, and ended up pushing at 7 centimeters! I told my doctor and husband during the horrible Pitocin that I couldn't do it anymore. My doctor gently told me she believed I could do it and not to give up! I completely understand what you mean about knowing that birth is a wonderful and natural process, but it is also extremely hard and self sacrificing. Just because we go natural doesn't mean we think we are superwoman with a high pain tolerance. It just means we want the best for us and our babies. The joys of bringing our children into the world without drugs in either of our systems is such a beautiful feeling! SOOO proud of you :) Praise God for your little miracle of Haven Sevin!!!! Much love, Casey

  2. noelle!! thank you so much for sharing your story! reading birth stories has been suuch an encouraging thing for me through this pregnancy! we are also planning a home birth (in the next few weeks...yayyy!!!) and i did have a few questions...could i maybe get your email?? i'm sure you are suuuper busy, so take your time!!!! :)

    1. ps. you can reply here. i'll check back!! :)

    2. absolutely ask away! i am so excited for you guys :)

  3. This whole story was wonderful, Noelle! So sorry to hear you had to transfer, sounds like you took it like a champ. I love how you talked about Ryan being surprised because the midwives were so calm. Even when I thought my pelvis was splitting into a thousand pieces (it wasn't) I just remember the midwives being so damn CALM. The entire time! I was so impressed by the calmness.. it really made the experience that much better.

  4. Sweet! Thanks for sharing. Both my boys were born in a hospital, but without pain medication. I knew I could do it. My doctor knew it too. They were wonderful. You did it!!
    Tammie Corley