this is hard.

hello there! things have been silent here for quite some time now. mainly because we've been busy trying to keep our heads on straight. this season of life in south carolina has been hard. add becoming parents to the mix and it's been really hard.

it's hard to dwell in peace when your shortcomings are ever present.

to deeply receive God's grace just to stand up and get knocked back down by your flesh.

to have the dreams God has given you burn holes through your chest but know their time hasn't come yet.

to feel weighed down by your circumstances but remember they're not a valid reason for your lack of joy and you could rise above them if you were stronger. better.

to be so SO tired.

to weep and pray for this season in the desert to be over and the very next day your husband has a wreck at work driving the company truck and totals a woman's fancy car. true story. no one was hurt.

it's been oddly hard. back to back hard. hard overlapping hard.

these are situations that leave us with no response but God I need you.

and it would be foolish not to recognize that He is forging something deep within our little family of 3. amen.

so just in case you were wondering - YOU CAN BE NEAR TO JESUS AND LOSING YOUR STUFF AT THE SAME TIME.

it's seasons like this that have me convinced, glory to glory doesn't quite look like we think it does.

glory to glory can be messy. glory to glory can hurt.

glory to glory can be climbing the christian ladder just to get knocked off and have to start back at square one.

blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. hallelujah.

also, did i mention that parenting is really really hard? don't ever think you're the only one down in the trenches.

elimination communication and other ramblings...

1. elimination communication. because, why not??? and because i am crazy, lol. we're just doing a partial version of EC. first of all we bought a little potty at ikea and we're only using it for #2, because really, who knows when their child is peeing??? definitely not me. definitely not with my 6 month old. never thought i would be doing this, but it's going great, and i have high hopes for the future. 

2. we have a crawler in the house.

 not pictured...

- i am a much happier lady when i read the word, juice, and do some form of yoga/pilates and i should really do all three every single day. 

- my husband works SO very hard and i am very thankful for him. 

- little lady is lovin her some squash these days - zucchini squash, yellow squash, you name it. 

- i'm dreaming of home education for our little ones and started a pin board for curriculum and other resources. 

- and last but not least, i am super excited for my free trial to arrive from the honest company AND to top that, i stumbled upon a coupon code here so i bought an extra bundle. 10 products for $30 people. 

sweet sunday

on sunday we recharged after a long week of Ryan working out of town (gone for 3 nights, whew!)

we went to the late service and ate burgers and sat in the sun and took an afternoon nap. 

also, while Hazel and papa were napping i snuck off to goodwill where a crazy old lady became obsessed with my skirt and followed me around as i shopped touching it and saying, "oh girrrl, some biiicycle showats unda theya would look so niiiice" 

hahahaha SO very odd!

our little lady is 5 months + a week old. 

still bald as can be but more personality than ever :)

today in pictures

1. we love our morning/afternoon walks. hazel prefers to face forward in her stroller these days, which kind of breaks my heart a little. what a big girl. 

2. note the wet spot on her bum in the second picture if you haven't already. that is from mama accidentally setting her down in a puddle. promise :)

3. his name is mr. pink monkey and it's her favorite toy. not sure how we came to call it mr. and not mrs.

4. tea for the soul. 

5. open mouth naps are my favorite. 

filling up the days

one of my goals for this new year was to establish some kind of routine (we don't use the schedule word around here. waaaaaayyy out of our ballpark)
most days are spent going for walks around the neighborhood, maybe to the market if we're reeeaaal ambitious :) reading books, tummy time, nursing, napping, drinking tea, repeat.
she would be happy to spend her entire day in my arms, watching me one handedly grind coffee beans or fold laundry.
how do you make the most of your baby's waking hours?

crib time + a picture crazy mama

        i don't know how i get anything done around here. the natural light in this house is CRAZY good. throw in a cute baby and my day is gone. it's a real dilemma i tell ya. 

something sweet

we are in the middle of a move, so things around here have been pretty quiet.

we spent two and a half weeks traveling, started moving boxes the day we got back and haven't really slowed down since. needless to say, i am one tired lady and i'm hungry for a put together house, a new routine and a much slower pace.

until then i will eat chocolate and stare at this sweet face in between taking down the mountain of boxes piled in our new living room. whew!

this. little. face.

i just cannot get enough of this sweet little face. bless her heart. 

oh for the day we can have conversations and play with kitties together.

:) 

mama thoughts

homegirl woke up this morning and was extra fussy (which extra fussy for her is not very fussy at all so i'm coming to find out)

nothing we did seemed to make her happy, and i was just feeling kind of done.

so i pulled myself together, got us all bundled up and went out for a walk around the block.

she conked out before we rolled out of the driveway.

and then i had some time to think.

4 weeks old (today actually) and already there have been times i just want to check out. how can this be???

don't get me wrong - i don't want to be weighed down with guilt just because i need some alone time with a cup of coffee now and then. but i also don't want to disengage and just go through the motions every time i don't feel like dealing with hard stuff.

i read this blog post yesterday and it just keeps going over and over in my mind.

"delight in them. love them well."

this woman has 9 children. the last 2 being newborn twins. so humbling.

there is joy to be had in today. i pray i wouldn't be so blinded by discomfort that i miss it.

praying for my baby

in class we talk a lot about maternal nutrition - its implications in pregnancy, birth and baby's longterm health.

this is something you could drive yourself nuts over if you scrutinize everything you put in your mouth. (as i write this i may or may not have texted my husband to pick up a almond hershey's bar on his way home)

but i still think it's important and fascinating to study what can be traced back to the mother's diet in pregnancy.

it only makes good sense right? what we put into our bodies makes our baby.

this makes me think so much about prayer.

praying for our children while they're still in the womb. speaking scripture and words of life over them.

i want to pray diligently over my growing baby, just like (if not more than) how i strive to eat healthy for her. i want it to be that important. that real to me. to know that i'm sowing into her spiritual health. that my prayers now have longterm effects.

i'm encouraged by my grandma and mom who prayed for me before i was born. i've seen specific areas of my life that their prayers have impacted and walked through situations that were so obviously pre-soaked in grace.

it's both sobering and inspirational.

i say inspirational because i so often let these things burden instead of inspire.

just like exercise and diet and other things i feel i could always do a better job of.

i choose to be inspired.